Recently, I have encountered a number of folks MUCH younger than me, and I am shocked at how science - phobic these kids are. I'm not talking about not caring for the sciences, or being indifferent, but people who actually believe that science is EVIL. "Oh, I'm a people person" or "Russ, I'm in the people business" or "science is just too hard, besides I'm going to be a social worker/therapist/massage therapist/model/actress-actor/politician/lawyer" blah blah blah. This is complete and utter rubbish!

I contend that if you are going to exist in the material world (and I don't personally know anyone who doesn't), or be in the so-called "people business" you had better by God figure what the people are up to, what they do, and how the universe around you works, or you will be in a world of SHIT! Science teaches us much more than facts and figures, it teaches us how to plan, think analytically (I hate the term "critical thinking"...it is meaningless) and better utilize our human resources. That's right, HUMAN resources.

Now, it's not my intention to turn everyone into Nobel Prize winners, or robots. Just be able to read about the latest discovery of a black hole, or dark matter by the Hubble in the news, and know what the hell the writer is TALKING ABOUT DAMMIT! That takes minimal effort. So, in my regard for the future of humanity (yes Virginia, I do care..really) I propose a course for all you"touchy feelies" out there with your philosophy degrees about to be gob-smacked by the harsh realities of a world you are gravely ill-prepared for.

Here it is:

One 16 week semester. Science for Dummies

Module One (4 weeks)- BASIC mathematics (not arithmetic-I have to assume SOME things, like you learned how to count in the first grade). Algebra, geometry, analytic geometry and functions of X and Limits of X. You should have learned this in 8th grade by the way. No trigonometry.

Module Two (4 weeks)- Chemistry. Basic chemistry, Organic chemistry, a 4 day practical lab, then polymers/plastics and basic chemical manufacturing process.

Module Three (4 weeks)- Biology. Cell biology, photosynthesis/animal metabolism, DNA/genetics, BASIC microbiology and natural selection theory/animal speciation , ecology No religious services for the environmental whackamos ( I will leave the evolution debate to the fanatic idiots).

Module Four (4 weeks)- Physics. I saved this until last because a science virgin really needs a warm-up period. But there is nothing really hard here. Newton (Laws of Motion/gravitation), thermodynamics (heat), Electromagnetism, then a mild overview of quantum physics, relativity and cosmology.

That's it. And to make things even more painless, I'll make it a pass/fail course, with no grades.

Of course, it will never work because the social deconstructionist lunatics that run the teachers unions want you to be a moron, in order to better serve the state once they get their insane socialist workers paradise installed after the revolution.

But I feel better now

russell